OT...Thoughts about death

shoes

New User
Has anyone on here ever thought about killing themselves? Everyone goes through bad times, but, has anyone else still had the urges to harm ones self, or has anyone ever completely lost the will to remain alive, despite thought and prayer? My inner voice will not let up on me. I cannot take it much longer. I can cut burn or injure myself, and still feel nothing. I want this feeling to leave.

They say that the path to heaven is narrow. That means alot of people are going to hell. Alot of people who THINK they are going to heaven are probably going to hell, too. Whats the difference if you arrive at your eternity 40 years early?

I dont want any keyboard preachers praying for me, nor do I want to talk. I just want my questions answered. I understand this is a somewhat riskay topic because of young eyes, so keep it clean. I have said nothing wrong, and this isnt any different than other OT's.
 
First, if you want the feeling to leave then you need to get professional help now! Everyone has those thoughts cross their mind sometime but actually considering acting on it is the real danger. Also consider all the little things that made you happy and realize they are worth living for. Not to mention the people in your life. Once again please get help.
 
I agree; please get some help. Nothing can be worth taking your life and leaving your family. I worked with a guy whose son-in-law killed himself on a Christmas Eve. He was gone, but how many future Christmases did he ruin for his kids by his selfish act? Every Christmas that should have been filled with joy was instead the memory of that death.

Larry
 
Shoes, can't say that I have ever thought of ending my life. However, I have known several that have ended their lives, one in fact one was just last year about this time. All I can tell you, based on my experience with the families and friends of these people, is that it is a selfish action, in fact a crime. I know people who are devastated decades after such an event, let alone one year. While you can fairly well argue your reasons based on your own feeling, it will be much harder to justify what such a thing does to others.
Best Regards,
Charlie
 
I have been down that path, get help right now. There are tons of people that love you and many things to be done.
 
Interesting that you had the courage to bring this up. You should fill us in on what led you to this point. You may have a chemical imbalance that is very treatable.
 
You're thinking about a permanent solution for a temporary problem. You may feel alone or overwhelmed but there are people who care about you, some you might not even know about, your solution will hurt them for a long time. Please get help.
 
Most cities, towns, etc. have a phone number you can call if you feel this way. The counselors are mostly volunteers who have gone through the same thing. They can put you in touch with who can help you the best. Listen to the Peter Gabriel song, Don't give up.
 
I agree on the professional help. It maybe a chemical imbalance as stated. It is easy for someone to tell you just snap out of it, but unless a person is faced with it themselves, it can be hard for others to understand. We have all become a community on here and do care about each other on the forum as well.
 
In answer to your question, God will take you when he is ready and only then. Yes, I have been where you are at times and I am thankful now that I didn't end my life then. Could have ended up being a vegetable for the rest of my life. Life has its ups and downs but it is better to play it out. Seek some professional help before you do something you regret. People actually do care about you.
 
In general, I don't think its abnormal to become frustrated, depressed or completely adversely affected when and if life throws a or a hailstorm of curve balls. I'd like to think a person would be abnormal if they did not react or feel that way at times during ones life, as life in general can really go from one extreme to another, and we have to remember, everyone is different, every situation unique. So when you ask if anyone else has had these thoughts, realize without hesitation, you are not the only one, just the reasons, the situations, medications, heredity, mental illness's and or how many other similar reasons are unique to that person. That's the reality of it, it happens, and the fact that you are cognizant of it, know something is up, suggests you are trying to exist with a conflict going on between your will to live and your will to end your life. With that realization its what you do that may determine the outcome.

At this juncture, you may find solace with what people post about it here, but realize that if you want to live, and that is purely up to you, IMMEDIATELY seek help, professional help, someone who will unequivocally listen, who will help you pull yourself out of the hole you are in, heal and recover, but you have to make the move to do it and you have to do it IMMEDIATELY.

The alternative is final, its gruesome, its selfish and its undeniably highly destructive. I live in the aftermath of this, not by choice. Its an easy way out of a problem, anything it life worth doing is not going to be easy. Only you can decide, only you can seek help and find a cure, doing nothing, depending on your persona, it may overwhelm you.

The religious aspect of it, (to me) is a personal affair with those you associate with the lord, could be your church, a clergy person, whomever it is to you, nothing wrong with seeking guidance with or where you are comfortable doing so, you are obviously concerned about it, so go and seek help, but remember, you can only get that help if you stay on the top side of the dirt, meaning the IMMEDIATE threat is to get to the E.R. or where ever similar resources exist.

Personally, its not in my wiring, not everyone is like that, I don't understand or comprehend how the line is crossed when someone takes their life, that programming does not exist for me, everyone is different.

I've lived in the aftermath, for a few years, one a young man whom I hired, a senior in high school and was the absolute best, another a family member, trust me my friend, it is one big giant mistake to follow up on those feelings, YOU have to decide, right now, get help NOW, I firmly believe you can do it just by what you wrote, so I say get the help you need and things will work out, it may not be easy, but the alternative is not the solution.
 
Shoes,
Read your post with great interest. Going to let you in on a secret. Most people who has such thoughts never complete the action, why you ask? Well it's this simple, hastening ones death is a theft from those who love and cherish them.
I am in a boat along with others who are aged and in poor health,but still relish each day and every morning thank the Good Lord for another one, so that I may be here to help others.

I have witnessed an attempted suicide of a very young man. While visiting my aunt and uncle, there was a fellow who locked himself in the garage with the car running,and proceeded to cut his throat with a straight razor. His wife came home from shopping and found him,because the car was running and the garaged was closed, called an ambulance, and the man survived. Psychiatric help was unheard of at that time,except by being committed to an institution, so from his attempt, I guess he couldn't be left alone any longer.

You have free choice to go on living or end it,but don't you think for one moment that suicide lets you escape the problems or problem without some penalties that will apply in the here after. What you would be doing is casting a giant net of guilt over your family and friends, irregardless of what you feel your reasons to commit suicide.People are living day to day under the threat of death with cancer and other debilitating diseases. CHILDRENS HOSPITALS ARE FILLED WITH CANCER VICTIMS and their families are sending prayers for their healing.

Now my question is to you- If your physical health (not mental) is good,what makes you think you have the right to vacate this planet and leave others suffering for your ungrateful attitude? If you are sincere and have doubts you better get up off your azz, look in the mirror to see what you are intending to destroy,and seek help.
Who is to say your inner voice is not the evil trying to get you to do something bad just to chalk one more up in his win column?.
Having a high tolerance to pain is no reason to justify any form of self mutilation and destruction, wouldn't you like to be known for doing more good than evil,doing more helpful things than leaving behind others feeling guilt and sorrow thinking they caused you to choose this path? In all the world, humans are the only creature that sometimes chooses to commit suicide. It's a weakness and a flaw in ones character. To me it is the cowards way out, as I'm sure there are other people in this world who have worse problems and they deal with them every day every waking moment, so who am I to say I am worse off and do a dastardly deed and leave this world for a worse place. I am 79 years old and in bad health,but refuse to give in to what you describe. God has other plans for me,so until he sends the angels for me I will continue to try my best to create more good than evil,and help rather than hurt others around me.

Regards,
LOU
 
(quoted from post at 11:23:30 06/22/14) Shoes,
Read your post with great interest. Going to let you in on a secret. Most people who has such thoughts never complete the action, why you ask? Well it's this simple, hastening ones death is a theft from those who love and cherish them.
I am in a boat along with others who are aged and in poor health,but still relish each day and every morning thank the Good Lord for another one, so that I may be here to help others.

I have witnessed an attempted suicide of a very young man. While visiting my aunt and uncle, there was a fellow who locked himself in the garage with the car running,and proceeded to cut his throat with a straight razor. His wife came home from shopping and found him,because the car was running and the garaged was closed, called an ambulance, and the man survived. Psychiatric help was unheard of at that time,except by being committed to an institution, so from his attempt, I guess he couldn't be left alone any longer.

You have free choice to go on living or end it,but don't you think for one moment that suicide lets you escape the problems or problem without some penalties that will apply in the here after. What you would be doing is casting a giant net of guilt over your family and friends, irregardless of what you feel your reasons to commit suicide.People are living day to day under the threat of death with cancer and other debilitating diseases. CHILDRENS HOSPITALS ARE FILLED WITH CANCER VICTIMS and their families are sending prayers for their healing.

Now my question is to you- If your physical health (not mental) is good,what makes you think you have the right to vacate this planet and leave others suffering for your ungrateful attitude? If you are sincere and have doubts you better get up off your azz, look in the mirror to see what you are intending to destroy,and seek help.
Who is to say your inner voice is not the evil trying to get you to do something bad just to chalk one more up in his win column?.
Having a high tolerance to pain is no reason to justify any form of self mutilation and destruction, wouldn't you like to be known for doing more good than evil,doing more helpful things than leaving behind others feeling guilt and sorrow thinking they caused you to choose this path? In all the world, humans are the only creature that sometimes chooses to commit suicide. It's a weakness and a flaw in ones character. To me it is the cowards way out, as I'm sure there are other people in this world who have worse problems and they deal with them every day every waking moment, so who am I to say I am worse off and do a dastardly deed and leave this world for a worse place. I am 79 years old and in bad health,but refuse to give in to what you describe. God has other plans for me,so until he sends the angels for me I will continue to try my best to create more good than evil,and help rather than hurt others around me.

Regards,
LOU
xellent post Lou.

Listen to him Shoes,DON"T DO IT, face your demons and fight them.
There is enough grief in the world, think about the grief you cause the ones you leave behind if you decide to step out.
 
"Has anyone ever thought of killing themselves?"... Shakespeare obviously considered it and has spoken to many through his famous soliloquy in Hamlet. Here is his take on it, and I agree with him.

To be, or not to be, that is the questionÑ
Whether "tis Nobler in the mind to suffer
The Slings and Arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take Arms against a Sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them? To die, to sleepÑ
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The Heart-ache, and the thousand Natural shocks
That Flesh is heir to? "Tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To die, to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to Dream; Aye, there"s the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil,
Must give us pause. There"s the respect
That makes Calamity of so long life:
For who would bear the Whips and Scorns of time,
The Oppressor"s wrong, the proud man"s Contumely,
The pangs of despised Love, the LawÕs delay,
The insolence of Office, and the Spurns
That patient merit of the unworthy takes,
When he himself might his Quietus make
With a bare Bodkin? Who would these Fardels bear,
To grunt and sweat under a weary life,
But that the dread of something after death,
The undiscovered Country, from whose bourn
No Traveler returns, Puzzles the will,
And makes us rather bear those ills we have,
Than fly to others that we know not of.

You don"t want to be preached to, but the God of the Bible has the only real answers for the question you are asking. Consider Solomon"s dilemma in Ecclesiastes, "Life is meaningless". He, like you, also wondered what makes life worth living, I would challenge you to read for yourself and find his conclusion.

In the meantime, find someone to talk to that can understand your problem. Keep asking for help and don"t isolate yourself. You are loved and cared for more than you realize, don"t separate yourself from those people in your life. Tomorrow always holds hope for something better.
 
I made it home from Viet Nam a young healthy man. In less than 5 years I found myself paralyzed from the waist down due to an automobile accident. I've often considered ending it all over the last 40+ years but I considered what it would do to the ones I would leave behind. About 15 years ago, a friend of mine shot himself due to drug addiction. I was talking to my Father about his death and my Father said " He took the cowards way out." Granted that my Father was a career NCO that served in WWll and Korea and was a hard*ss but I took his remark to heart. I'm in pain 24/7 and meds do not help but I'm still glad to wake up every morning above ground. If one commits suicide it might end their pain but what will it do to the ones that are left behind ?
.
.
Shoes, no matter how bad you have it just visit a VA hospital. There, you'll see how some vets will spend the rest of their lives, totally dependent on others for everything from moving their bowels to being able to eat. I think it might help you deal with your problems. I believe the VA still accepts volunteers. Good luck, I hope for the best for you.
 
Suicide is a totally selfish act that does irreparable damage to the surviving family.

Think you have problems? Every one has problems. Most of us deal with them. It's OK if you need help dealing with them. Some problems are just too big to handle by yourself. But with thoughts like your you need to seek professional help now!

Rick
 
Stick around and see what happens next. The future is an amazing thing. In the mean-time, take what you've got and talk to someone. Life is only good for its stories. Sounds like you have some good ones! Tell someone.
 
Choosing death ends all choices. And after death your soul lives on. It'll be in heaven or in hell, simply put, but a hard reality. Choosing your Creator/God in this life gives you the choice of heaven----doing nothing gives you the alternative. This is NOT religion---this is reality!!
 
Shoes: People 'out here' do care about you. Do you have at least one significant person in your life you sincerely cares about and/or loves you? Seek that--we all need each other and relationship.

Sounds like you are suffering from a physical imbalance, along with emotional/personal stressors. Research indicates with appropriate medication (Will need a property diagnosis from a professional, MD.)and talk-therapy/counseling, a person can begin to feel much better. It is a process to regain physical and emotional balance in your life, which has been askew for some time, according to your note.

Do seek medical and psychological/therapy assistance NOW! It is worth a try, if you haven't tried that.

Roger's wife, a trained professional
 
I'll trade my problems for yours......
I am terminally ill (end stage heart failure).
So I have no choice about dying soon.
My heart doctor is surprised that I made it this far.
Every day is a gift. Every day I get another chance.
I could give up, go on Hospice, and be gone in less than a month.
And there are times that it is a tempting prospect.
But that would be very selfish of me. I want to know that I
tried for my wife's sake and my family. No regrets.

Suicide does indeed assure that things won't get worse.
It also guarantees that things won't get better.

Life is a gift. Every day is a gift. Don't reject that gift.

Pooh Bear
 
I don't have to kill myself I have a couple of exwives that'd be glad to help me out.(LOL)
Get a grip you're better off than 95% of the rest of the folks in the World just because you were fortunate enough to be born in the USA.Cancel the pity party and start counting your blessings.
 
With the proper help and medication, it can and will be cured. But.. you have to make the first step and reach out to someone who can help you... even if its your doctor or the emergency room, va or other.

Take the first step and let someone know!! Someone local who can get the road to happiness and wellness started....

You don't have to stay in this state, and it doesn't take long to fix it. Please reach out to a local person and let them know.. You will never look back... The pain will be gone.
 
Pooh Bear- I feel for you with what you are having to deal with.

Mom(74) died last month from the same condition.

My prayers are with you and your family.

Greg
 
Shoe, welcome to the group. You've gotten some right on advise here today. Hope you'll read each reply carefully.

Sounds like you're going through some tough times. We all have, that's part of life. Yes, I've been there, through some dark times when I thought there was little to live for. But, I never completely lost the will to live, obviously because I'm still here! And so are you!

I have no idea what you are personally experiencing, other than God will not put more on us than we can handle, nor is there any unique situation others haven't experienced.

It's good you're seeking a solution. That tells me you do still have hope. Hope is the most essential necessity of life!

The inner voice you hear... We all have that inner voice, but where does that voice come from? Is it our own voice? Could be. Should we listen to that voice? Obey it? Not hardly!

Proverbs 3:5
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;

God warns us, we are deceitful creatures. We can easily convince ourselves that something completely false can be the truth!

Is it Satan?

John 8:44
...He (Satan) was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

Good possibility! As scripture says, he's a liar, and a very good one! He's had a lot of practice for a long time. Without the proper armor, we have no defense against him!

Is the voice that of God?

Jeremiah 29:11
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

Would God EVER try to tell one of His beloved children to do something harmful to himself?

So, make the decision, who are you going to listen to? This is where the path narrows! It is a one lane, one way road!

John 14:6-7
Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. 7 If you really know me, you will know my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”

You are absolutely right, many who think they are saved are not! God never intends for anyone to go to He!! It's our choice, who do we believe, God, who cannot lie? Or fall for Satan's lies and condemnation?

Romans 10:13
for, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

I didn't intend to go preaching, the Holy Spirit lead the way. Right now He's reaching out to YOU! Not that accepting Christ will solve all your earthly problems, but it will put you on that narrow path, the path to truth, life and righteousness!

So, find yourself a long forgotten fence row tractor to restore, you'll soon forget your problems. You'll still be getting cut and burned, but not intentionally, and you will feel it! But every scar will leave a memory, the memories will lead to lessons learned, and lessons learned will lead to success and victory!

2 Timothy 4:7
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
 
Hope I'm not out of place but the topic made me think of an old Laurel and Hardy movie "Flying Aces". Fat Ollie sees a gorgeous young lady (Georgette) and falls in love, and thinks she feels the same about him. When he finds out differently he intends to end his life by throwing a large rock in a river with a rope attached to him and also hooks up Stanley for good measure since he won't be any good without him. A French foreign legion officer comes along and talks them into joining the legion instead. They get in an airplane and take off by mistake. The picture is them "flying" the plane. Anyone see that old movie?
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See a doctor ASAP. There are drugs that will set you free from this feeling of despair. There is no pain worse than depression. Get your chemicals in balance and you will have a new view of the world, and your inner voice will give you peace. Please act now!
 
Life is not easy.
I came through some tough times as a kid and again as an adult.
I had those thoughts.
I can honestly say life gets better, happier, easier as you grow older.
Don't throw away your chance for better times.
 
I remember that one. I do remember a line from the movie Tombstone with Kurt Russell and Val Kilmer. Im in no way making light of the situation or post but there is a lot of truth to a line from that movie: There is no such thing as a normal life.....its just life.
 
I recommend that you talk to someone. Just talk

1-800-273-8255

I assume you have family and friends that care.

It could be a chemical imbalance that could be fixed.
This feeling could go away, and you could return to feel like your normal self again. Things will get better.

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
Someone to talk to
 
We are all neighbors on here so we need to help you. You have a chemical imbalance, so get to the doctor and in a few hours you will feel like a new person. Then get the Holy Bible and read Job and then tell us you have problems you can't handle.
 
Please get help now. I worked at a psychiatric hospital in Wis. for 20 years before retiring. Depression is real and is far more common than people realize. medication and counseling will improve your outlook on life. Medication will take at least three weeks to begin noticing improvement. Give it time and you will be glad you sought treatment. People care about you so make an appointment with a psychiatrist immediately or use the emergency room. God bless you my friend. Good luck to you.
 
A friend/acquaintance told me just over a year ago that when he had his bypass surgery that they only gave him a 10% chance of surviving,that he saw the gates of H3ll. He's the last person in the world that I would ever think would have a religious experience,but one of the first I'd suspect would go there.

We just talked about that on Fathers Day when all the kids were here because my daughter is really in to this subject. It intrigues me too and I pay attention when it comes up anywhere.
For all the stories I've ever heard of afterlife experiences though,I've never heard of one being reported by somebody who's tried to take their own life. Anecdotal evidence maybe,but I don't think I'd want to risk it.

My daughter tells of people visiting her after they pass on. She knew my mother in law was gone before we got the phone call. She said she came and sat on the end of her bed and told her she was OK.
She was real close to my dad and said he came to her a couple of times. She was telling last Sunday though that the only person who never came to her at all was her mother after she died of breast cancer. She says she just can't get any sense at all of where she is. She suspects Purgatory. Maybe that's where people go when they do themselves in? I don't know. This woman didn't take her own life,but from time to time you could see pure evil in that woman's eyes. She never did anything to make me bitter,don't get me wrong,I just think she was closer to the devil than she was to the Lord.
 
I'm telling you what,this woman could be sitting there enjoying herself with everybody else and in a matter of ten seconds or so,you could see the evil come over her face and she was still smiling,but not in a way you'd want to see.
I don't know,I hope she went the right way,but she wasn't right.
 
I think a lot people think about it, from time to time, but it isn't something they will admit to.
The death of some one close, hurts those people a lot. Have you seen the movie "Its a Wonderful Life"?
People have a greater influence on people around them than they realize.

Hurting yourself will hurt others too.
SDE
 
I don't think there's a person over the age of 18 on this planet who hasn't thought about killing himself at some point, at least in the abstract sense. The ability to end our own lives sets humans apart from most other species.

In my opinion, we each have the right to decide whether we want to go on living or not. But we do NOT have the right to cause pain to those who care about us. Please think about how your death will affect those around you. Whatever your problems are, I know someone has gone through much worse difficulties and survived.

It sounds like you are very depressed. I hope you will seek help. You are not the first person to have suicidal thoughts, and depression is common even among folks whom you would think have no problems. As for the afterlife, I wouldn't count on it being any better than what you have here on earth. Make the best of what you have. Your life does matter, and you can't help those who depend on you if you're not here.
 
I disagree with it being totally selfish. Its very hard to understand unless you have been to the edge of that cliff.
 
Yes, I've stood on the very edge of that cliff.

My first marriage was mentally rough. I became suicidal. It wasn't that I wanted to die, I just didn't want to live anymore.

We had plenty of guns, but didn't want to do it that way. Just wanted to lay down and drift away.

Back then, you gave your dogs a small dose of styrid caricide, a form of strychnine, for heart worms. My German shepherd got 5 ccs daily. I had a quart of the stuff which would have been more than enough.

Decided that was the way to do it. Went to get it and it wasn't there. Spent 4 hours looking for it and couldn't find it.

Today, 30+ yrs later, I am convinced it was the hand of God that kept me from finding the stuff.

I know you don't want preaching, but hold on, get help, this will pass.
 
Shoes, no preaching from here, just another prospective. I'm a retired Paramedic who has seen the outcomes of suicide from everyway imaginable. It is not painless, as the theme song from "MASH" implies. Without going into the details, suicide leaves behind an aftermath of horrible consequences. You see so many senseless deaths from other means that one wonders why a person would take their own life. Tomorrow is another day and you can only hope it is a better day. It has been my experience that almost every person that commits suicide does so without telling anyone. I hope you are, in your own way, asking for help. Please get it, immediately. To answer your question, no, I haven't. It is a non-reversible action if successful.
 
I think nearly everyone has considered it at one time or another. There was a five year period in my life that it was almost an every day consideration. But then, I'm a bull-headed sonofagoat and toughed it out on my own and am danged glad I did. Not everyone can do that. Lotta good suggestions for help below. Take advantage of them.


I'm in my mid-60's now and reflecting upon all of those I grew up with who are already gone, I am acutely aware of what a precious gift (good, bad or indifferent) every day of life is. DO NOT GIVE UP!!!!!!!!!
 
I have been through some tough times and not to long ago. Things were not going good for me, and my place of employment closed up too. To top it off, I had a very loving relationship with a gal, and she decided to ditch me right at a time when I was really down. That hurt worst of all. Found out about a year later, that she married an ex from her past. A relationship that didn't work out for her years ago. I have had alot of dark and lonely days. At one time every day was a bad day. I gave it alot of time, and now I only have a bad day once in awhile. Suicide, I'm not going to say I've never thought about it, but havn't really ever contemplated actually doing it. Its very hurtfull to have someone that supposedly loves you so much just walk away and not even be freinds afterwards and make a very idiotic decision for thier own life. I think a bad day here on earth would be better than a good day in hell. I should of got some counceling at my lowest point. I might advise you to. It will make things better and hopefully you won't have as many bad days as I have.
 
Just wanted to add something I thought of today. A few months ago I was on youtube and saw an interview with the pop star / actor Rick Springfield. I heard things about him I never knew. He attempted suicide while in his teens, the dog on some of his album covers was the family dog, which he said was the glue that held everything together and was a very big blow when the dog passed away. He also said he still struggles with the thought of suicide and deals with depression to this day. He is in his early 60s. It was a very heartfelt interview, and I have the utmost admiration and respect for the man finding things out I never knew about him. I am certainly glad he stuck around. One never knows what good the future has in store.
 

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