Ponderisms

1.Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water?
Try spelling Evian backwards :NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?

3. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?

4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

5. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

6. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

7. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

8. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

9. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

10. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

11. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

12. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

13. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.

14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them?
Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

16. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

17. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

18. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

19. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

20. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

21. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?

Here's something else to ponder. A February with 5 Sundays only happens every 28 years. The last one was 2004. Next one won't be until 2032.

LOL

9 and 21 were my favorites.

And I thought I had too mucha time on me hands!"

I've often thought of #16.

Hello Hoby,

Man you must have it bad! Cabin fever there is!
Here is one for you. True story ,When work was squeezing people out, My boss did not get fired or layed off. He was DESELECTED!

Guido.

#8 11 as onty one souldn't it oneteen and 12 be twoteen

#6 My wife will throw out a partial loaf of bread if it starts to get a little dry, BUT, go to Paneras and buy a sandwich with bread crust so hard you can barely bite it off and it wonderful???

As for #1, the whole bottled water craze began at a marketing meeting in France with the statement "How dumb do I think Americans are?"

This feb has 4 of each day, happens only
every 843 years. Ed will

I did enough of #17 this afternoon when I went to CSU to get my cat's medicine. Stupid people really shouldn't be allowed to drive.

Huh? If February has 28 days, it will have 4 each of Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday, won't it? Seems like that happens 3 out of 4 years. I predict it will happen again in 2017.

The others are here to use you! Lol

We have been told that diamonds are compressed carbon. So what and where is the material that compressed them?????????????????????

Why does sour cream have an expiration date?
good luck
Kenny