I can sure tell you the best job I never had. Was getting out of the Army, time to ETS. My section sergeant had to counsel me as to why I really shouldn't get out, but rather stay in. And as though that wasn't enough, I had to fill out a piece of paper explaining why I was choosing to get out as opposed to staying in. So, I filled it out. I wrote that after considering all of my military options, I decided to leave the Army to pursue a career as a stuntman in adult movies (I used the real word though). That guy begged me not to write that and handed me a new form, because he'd have to turn it in, and being a career GI looking to get more promotions, he really didn't want to get yelled at. You'd have thought I'd committed murder or something for that. Holy cow. It didn't take long to work my way from the shop's NCOIC, through the company and all the way to the Brigade Commander, and when I got to that guy, he had me standing at attention and was screaming in my face that the form was going to end up on somebody's desk in the Pentagon, and he wasn't about to allow that to happen because he was going to bust me and throw me into the slammer for obsceneties. I kid you not. I didn't back down and somehow left Germany with my stripes and ETS'd from Ft. Dix, NJ. But here's the good part. A year or so later I'm sitting in some uppity comedy club in Chicago getting hammered with some buddies and laughing our tails off and the comdedian on stage asks everyone what they do for a living. When he got to me being tanked up and laughing as I was, I said "I'm a stuntman in adult movies" (again, using the real word). That got the crowd's attention because no one ever heard of that before. So the guy asked what that entailed and I said that I filled in during all the hard scenes. That got the crowd going even more. But the best part, and I kid you not, there were a few women that handed me their telephone numbers, and I used a couple too. I've had some good jobs, but that's the best one I never had, so to speak. Ahh, to be a young punk again instead of an old one.
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Today's Featured Article - Gatherin of the Orange - by Rick Nikolich. In July of 1998 I was talking to fellow Allis Chalmers collector Mike Schilling about the annual "Gathering of The Orange" AC show coming up in August of 1999. He got this wild idea that we should get a convoy of AC tractors and drive them from Charlotte, Michigan 105 miles to LaGrange, Indiana.
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