1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE
> > ELSE
> TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
> >
> > 2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY
> > USING
> THE SINK.
> >
> > 3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED
> > FOR A
> FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE
> A TIMER.
> >
> > 4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU
> > FROM
> ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
> >
> > 5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THEN
> > YOU'LL BE
> AFRAID TO COUGH.
> >
> > 6. YOU ONLY NEED TWO TOOLS IN LIFE - WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF IT
> > DOESN'T
> MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN'T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE
> DUCT TAPE.
> >
> > 7.. IF YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU'VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
> >
> > DAILY THOUGHT:
> >
> > SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES - NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING BUT
> > THEY
> BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS...
gitrib