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Funny Xmas eve story, use discretion, I will do my best...

D

dbernie

Member
Merry Christmas, life goes on...
True story, please use discretion for who reads, I will be as politically and medically correct as I can.
This is also a safety tip:
So, hitch release lever on the trailer, the tongue of it,
vary. This one is a lever that sticks straight up about 4" when released.
Night time, 23rd eve or 24th morn,
Very dark outside.
I know my property, so I move around in the dark often.
In my pathway was one of my trailers, I knew exactly where
. So, though not wearing work clothes, just thin sweatpants,
I stepped over the tongue of the trailer.
I was suddenly reminded the release lever was still up,
my sweats caught in the 'private' area, tore, and yes,
went on through and sliced the 'scrotem'.
Laugh, at this point, I've decided it can be called a 'ball release',
that's a joke. Didn't know how much ya can bleed down there, wow.
Went to Emergency Department to get cleaned up and stitched up. Prior to that procedure, they thankfully gave me an injection to numb that immediate area.
At that time, and maybe for the rest of my life,
if you call me 'numb-nuts' I deserve it, haha.
So: safety tip:
After pulling the hitch or ball release on your trailer,
then moving the vehicle, may be a good idea to flip the
release lever back down.
Maybe its just me.
What can I say, gotta laugh or cry.
Everyone have a Merry, and a Happy New Year.
Hope folks can get a giggle out of this true story,
guess that would make it all worthwhile.
I'm ready for the replies and jokes,
lay them on me, haha.
Thanks, resting in the recliner,
Danny
 
You either got a tall trailer tongue or very short legs. I am six foot tall and have plenty of clearance when I step over them.
 
Danny, Can't laugh at that one. Makes me wince just thinking of it so can only imagine what you felt.

Hope all turns out well and Happy New Year !

Bill
 
I was serious and meant it in my post above but now will have to say, "I hope the hitch came out without damage !"

Seriously, rest up and be glad it was not worse.

Bill
 
Will you be doing any ballroom dancing on new years eve? Maybe you can dance to the nut cracker waltz .
Thanks, good story told like a man.
 
Why did I wind up crossing and tightening my legs in
the middle of that story. It hurts just thinkin'
about it.
 
Several years ago I delivered the evening paper. A
lady had a lap dog that would bark at anything, so
one day she is outside with dog in her arms,I went to
hand the paper to her,the dog jumps out of her arms,
hits the ground,jumps up and nails me on the end of
my private area, I look down my pants are ripped, I
call my supervisor at paper, explained what happened
and was told to go to ER and get it checked out. The
male nurse on duty is a pastor. All of a sudden a
police officer comes in the room with a dog bite form
to fill out,and he said that he needed to take a
picture of the injury area because it drew blood.
Needless to say I was out of service for about a
week!
 
What I would like to know,is if the trailer was
UNHOOKED,Why did you not just simply walk AROUND
it?Glad you are ok. BTW,Supper is just served....
Vegatable is green beans with SHAVED NUTS! LOL
 
Okay,
them are some good ones, nutcracker sweet, ballroom dancing...
Maybe since I just divorced in October,
I subconsciously wanted to get 'hitched' again.

Why didn't I walk around the trailer?
The front was in the porch light,
I could only stay in the shadows if I stepped across it...
little did I know what trying to be covert can cause,
haha.

I'd like to hear more, but you all got me giggling so hard,
I guess, "I'm laughin my balls off", and it hurts...
Danny
 
Hope you have a quick recovery.

A friend of mine in Clinton, North Carolina, "Jim", went to the bathroom and caught himself in the zipper in his pants. To appreciate this, you have to realize he was an insurance salesman and one of the better known characters in Clinton.

He wound up in the ER with the doctor taking three stitches in it. When the doctor was done, he asked, "What the heck am I going to write in your medical record?"

The doctor finally wrote, "Lacerated leg". At that point, the nurse who was assisting, and who knew Jim, lost it completely.

Jim's wife worked at a local bank, and couldn't resist telling a gal she worked with. At that point they may as well have put it on the radio and front page of the local newspaper.

Next time I saw Jim, he said, "I'm the only guy in Clinton who can walk down the street and every SOB I meet, black or white, smiles at me.
 
Well, I think posting about it helps.
I feel/felt pretty stupid.
Might as well laugh, though.
Pretty high-tech emergency room,
they even did an ultrasound or whatever
to find out if I still had blood flow down there.

Though I was making jokes,
the staff stayed professional,
except for giggling when I
thought of something real funny to say.

Hope to hear some more comments,
but I bet those that read this
never release a bumper pull hitch lever
again, without this story flashing thru there mind

HAHA, I know I won't...
danny
 
HMMMM stepping across something in the dark on a muddy piece is a ballsy move, but you could have wound up balless!

So just how "long" did that micro surgery take?

Rick
 
I know of someone who did something similar. I'm not sure
why he did it, but when he got hom he got in a warm bath a
little too soon (I can't recall particulars). Things hadn't begun to
seal up. He suddenly had a grapefruit full of warm water just
swinging around. Back to the ER he went. I would have just
wrapped the truck around a tree instead.
 
When dad was raising hay to get the bales up to the top he had a pulley at the roof area of the barn. He had two large hooks connected to a rope. He hooked the hooks in the bale and pulled them up with the farmall A. I got to run the tractor. When everything was through, the ropes were still hanging there. I was playing Tarzan swinging on the two ropes. As I was in mid air I didn't hold the rope with the hooks quite tight enough. My weight pulled the hook into my privates. Mom took me to the doc for a few stitches in the old sack area. Ouch Stan
 
Well yer not supposed to be tip toe-in over trailer tongues at night, and not have the satchel skid plates in place LOL ! That thar is S.O.P. in night time trailer tongue tippin !

All jokes aside, I know exactly what its like to have a repair done on those, there's such a thing as a strangulated testicle, not sure the cause, repair was interesting, no damage at all. Sutures there will rest ya a bit, but was really not intolerable, even with both done. The dark side of this affair, all inclusive, prior to and at the onset of being examined and worked on by medical professionals, was the unbelievable new threshold of pain you never thought was possible to endure. Now zee urologist/surgeon of German descent may have thought he was working on a fine automobile here, bit of a gambler too, given he tried to "manually" rotate said oval spheres, (no pain meds given prior) to again allow blood circulation, correcting the strangulation of said orbs. Certainly a gamble, tried 3 rolls of the dice, a game of chance with 50/50 odds. Sadly for me, the house won every time and the affected party now knows the true meaning of torture which also induced some unbelievable "upheaval" as a bonus side effect LOL !!!! One time in my life I sure was glad someone was not stubborn when getting the wrong results !!! I think one more throw of the dice, would have been unbearable, time to open er up and get those lines untangled, and while your in there, just install a pair of zippers would ya, so I don't have to go through all this if it happens again LOL !!! Apparently he "moored" both ships to the pier somehow, says they won't ever capsize and kink the supply lines again, so the repair came with a lifetime guarantee like ya get with fine tools, thus, no zippers were needed as any wise mechanic would usually think ahead to modify for easier repairs in the future on a tractor LOL !!!

At this point morphine immediately ended the pain, followed by surgery, ending with a full recovery. Once the "kink" in the plumbing was released, the rest was just a breeze and a stark contrast of what took place only hours before, and it was immediately noticed while just coming to out of the haze, in the recovery area, where you know, that oxygen is blowin on yer face, and you think you are lying in the sun on the beach.

I think you got off easy, man that's a bad place to get hung up !!!!!

Get well and heal up soon !!!!!
 
Well, micro surgery, for me, definitely not a 'long' surgery, that's about right, so it didn't take long, stitches were shorter I guess, haha.

Actually, I called, VA urgent care didn't have anyone on staff,
so they referred me to another ER, called and verified they would follow up with paperwork for payment, meanwhile, called good ol Mom, bless her heart, 88 years old, she calls me Murphy, sometimes I wonder if she ain't just hangin on to life to help me out, haha, so the ~hour it took for her to get here, then the ~hour to get there, plus letting them know ahead of time, didn't take that long, once there, 3-4 hours at most.

I would also suggest anyone in an ER situation,
phone ahead so they can be expecting what's
gonna come thru the door.

I wonder if they charge me for all those blood-stained sheets,
if that means I get to keep them?
Shoot, I'm buyin 'em, right?
Oh well, guess the trailer could have been moving, OUCH!

Sometimes I think its just the powers that be saying, "You need to set down and take a break for awhile", tho nice about it, not tryin to bust yer balls over it...well, this time???
Maybe just yankin my chain.
I best quit, lest I get some more good feedback
Bored, stinging, and trying to laugh about it with you all...
 
True story.

When the wife and kids (6 of em) arrived in Germany in 85 on the way to our quarters from the airport I told my wife that if she got pregnant again I was going to shoot myself (we had been arguing over who was going to get fixed). A couple of months later my wife tells me she's in the family way, then ask if I was going to shoot myself with a sweet grin on her face. I told her "nope, just might be shooting an innocent man"! Not a good answer! DO NOT TRY THAT AT HOME!

So I went ahead and put in a request to get myself fixed. After it was done I was on 3 days bed rest then 30 days light duty. On day 4 we had to pull the engine on my tank. I pulled a stich or 2 out but really had no problems. But when I got home from work I played like I was in a lot of pain. The wife babied me! So I kept it up. For a whole month! When she finally said I needed to go back and see the doc I told her the truth that I was fine. AGAIN DON'T TRY THIS AT HOME! The next time I was really injured she had absolutely NO sympathy for me at all!

Now after I got fixed and recovered a friend ask me about then decided to have himself fixed. Now they tell you no loving for at least 3 days. We this guy got home, popped a couple of pain pills, turned on the TV and had a beer or too. That night he was feeling no pain and decided it was time to try it out. About 3 in the morning his wife knocked on our door and told me she needed help with him. His sack was the size of a big grapefruit and purple! Plus he was in a lot of pain! So I helped get him down the stairs and to the ER. They told him he broke a blood vessel and there wasn't much they could do for him. On the way back to our building he begged me not to tell anyone...... :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Rick
 
(quoted from post at 18:51:48 12/25/14) Several years ago I delivered the evening paper. A
lady had a lap dog that would bark at anything, so
one day she is outside with dog in her arms,I went to
hand the paper to her,the dog jumps out of her arms,
hits the ground,jumps up and nails me on the end of
my private area, I look down my pants are ripped, I
call my supervisor at paper, explained what happened
and was told to go to ER and get it checked out. The
male nurse on duty is a pastor. All of a sudden a
police officer comes in the room with a dog bite form
to fill out,and he said that he needed to take a
picture of the injury area because it drew blood.
Needless to say I was out of service for about a
week!
Click to expand...

Is that what they call an old fashion selfie with the police officer? :wink:
 
Danny:

You got off easy.

Back in 1974 I was attending Medical School during
the day to become an E.R. Physician and
"moonlighting" part-time in the evenings as a Mobile
Intensive Care Paramedic. One evening about 11 PM we
got an Ambulance call to respond to a "poorer"
section of Hollywood, Calif. . Seems a young Hispanic
gentleman in his mid-20s had been in to the Ross-Loos
Hospital earlier in the day for a complete
Circumcision. Since neither he nor his wife spoke any
English, fortunately a bi-lingual neighbor who had
seen us arrive was able to translate.

Earlier that evening the pretty, young wife had
gotten her husband aroused and he had gotten a full
erection and ripped out all of the stitches, and was
now bleeding profusely. After an initial examination
I placed a constricting band around the base of the
shaft to reduce the blood flow and then packed the
end of the shaft with absorbent gauze sponges and
wrapped it in Kling Gauze; and we transported him
back to the Ross-Loos Hospital.

Really felt sorry for the guy.

Most people just don't realize how much blood can be
lost from injuries to the "privates" area.

Doc
 
Well, on the bright side... You weren't out there afterwards with a flashlight looking for lost bits and pieces!
 
Had to go back and look to see if I was logged on to Yesterday's Tractors or Facebook. I don't even do Facebook but thought this sounded like something that someone would post there. Why in the he__ would someone post a story like this for the world to see?
 
(quoted from post at 06:56:38 12/26/14) Had to go back and look to see if I was logged on to Yesterday's Tractors or Facebook. I don't even do Facebook but thought this sounded like something that someone would post there. Why in the he__ would someone post a story like this for the world to see?
Click to expand...
So the can make another Jackask move.
 
We had a guy at work who got "clipped". It was a new procedure, at least to us, and he assured everyone it was a piece of cake. He didn't show back up at work for several days, and when he did come in, he was mincing around, so they put him to running the transit, while everyone else did the grunt work. He started hollering, and someone went to see what was wrong - he'd dropped his pencil, and needed somebody to pick it up for him. I thought of him every time someone talked about getting "clipped".
 
I worked on a broadleaf tobacco farm as a young boy. The whole plant is cut off at ground levell then handed to a boy on a wagon who then hangs the plant upside down on wooden lathes with very sharp hooks. Occasionally the hooks come off of the lathe so this one kid put the hook in his pants pocket and when he bent over drove that hook right thru his weaney. The farmers wife drove him to the doctors.
 
Don't feel bad, you got out of it whole. A
good friend of mine when we were kids was
climbing a chain in a barn.

A chain with a big meat hook on the end of
it...

still don't even know why that chain was there,
but anyways... you can probably see where this
is going...

Lost his grip half way up - slid down the
chain...

*Insert painful wincing look here*

Lost one of his... friends.

From then on everybody called him mono...
family site, so I better just leave it at that.
 
Several years ago a schoolteacher friend told of the day when she noticed a hubbub of activity around the boys' bathroom. Lots of little third graders were excitedly going in and out. She nabbed one of them and asked what the heck was going on in there. The kid said, "Jimmy's got his kidney caught in his zipper."
 
"Why in the he__ would someone post a story like this for the world to see?"


Its part of life, might keep someone else from the same type accident, kept it as family friendly as I felt I could, so:
Are we just supposed to ignore and hide from real life???

I could relate a lot of things I've seen or experienced in my life,
goal to lighten things up and not take life too seriously, maybe help,
but folks like you don't like to accept reality, nor help others,
in my opinion.
 
Almost every magazine has a Harbor Freight coupon for a free flashlight and you are out walking around in the dark!!!

Heal up quickly.

We have all done something we regret......but I sure haven't done THAT!!!!
 
Fatamus:

That's an old play-on-words, "in cider" should read
"inside her". And NO it does NOT help, may FEEL GOOD
but it does not help.

Doc :>)
 
(quoted from post at 20:57:42 12/26/14) Fatamus:

That's an old play-on-words, "in cider" should read
"inside her". And NO it does NOT help, may FEEL GOOD
but it does not help.

Doc :>)
Click to expand...
Oops; :wink: Is THAT what that means :oops: ... Way that is a little risqué. :lol:
 
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