Cant sleep

Since Susan has been in the nurseing home,I cant sleep. Havent slept through the night.Tonight is the worst,had to get up and play on the computer for a bit...Then in the mornings,it's hadr to get up to a quiet,cold dark house.Just rambleing....

That is exactly what has been happening with me since last February when my wife passed. If you figure out how to cure it please let me know.

Me either...

I have the same problem, with my wife right beside me! I take Tylenol PM or Benadryl, they both work for a while, but I was still up at 4:30!

DR maybe an automatic or programmable thermostat to turn furnace on before get up time, and a timer or lights so it is not dark on awakening might help.

Yep I am awake because of stuff on my mind. Some things just won't shut off. But just little stuff in reality.

I still have my wife but suddenly, BAM, one night four years ago I started having problems. I usually wake up at around 4:45, and can't get back to sleep. Now I go to bed at around 9:15 and usually get six hours sleep by 4:45. but there are still the nights when I wake up at 2:30 and can't get back to sleep. The experts say to get up and read for awhile and stay off the screen.

I usually have a book or magazine by the bed that I am reading. But I find that my old eyes take a while to wake up. Reading on the computer seems to be a lot easier. The thing that works the best for me to get back to sleep is taking a ride around the block listening to classical music!

I know it's no comfort at all right now, but I know somebody, and he might be reading this right now, who sold the farm and moved to another state, then his wife passed away about four months later. He was all alone in a strange house, no friends around, nothing familiar. Like I said, not comforting to you right now, but at least you're alone in familiar surroundings.

You might want to check out this
Pure Sleep

What's missing is companionship, which can be remedied with a good shelter cat. Don't just go and pick one out, go and look around and find one that picks you. Seriously.

Do have a pet? Gives you a reason to get up in the morning.

Also check out Grief share. There is a chapter at Montrose. It helps.
Email is open.
Roger

You'll get used to it. My wife of 49 1/2 years of marriage up and died on me one night, heart attack. It took awhile but you will adjust to your new life.....either learning to live alone and do all the things yourself that she used to do for you, or find yourself a replacement.

Peace and grace to you Sir.

I agree with Roger. A pet and Grief Share. Don't have much experience with dogs, but a Maine Coon Cat usually makes a good companion. Cats are pretty much self sufficient. As long as they have food and a litter box they're happy.
A method I used to use was to get fully relaxed. Shoulders, arms, fingers and legs. After getting fully relaxed, I would slowly breath in deeply, then fully exhale slowly.
My theory is, being fully relaxed and focusing on my breathing would take my mine off everything else.
I believe having good companion would be good medicine. Also, when you visit your wife, it would give both something to talk about. It may also make her feel better knowing you are not alone.

The seismic disturbances a woman can cause in a man's life.
In your case you can not go forward with a new wife, nor go back with the present one because she who was is not there.
I have no advice but my heart goes out to you.

BIL lost his wife to cancer. 2 years later he remarried at age 78. He said the 2nd honeymoon was nothing like the 1st!

I don't sleep much and randomly so if you want/need to talk, my email is open.

I hear ya , , not to often does the War Dept have to go away for and overnight but when she does the house is empty . between our dating years and married years we have been together now some 51 plus years. i don't even want to think about not having her around . My one friend lost his wife a little over a year ago to a vary fast cancer and how he has been since . I knew Sid's wife way before she meet him , at the time she was dating another friend of mine . Meet her back in 69 at the local drag strip . back in those days i was one of the top tuners and was the unoffical Mopar tuners for the Road Runner Clan I was there with tools and spare parts , Day i meet her i was deep into a new Dodge super BEE 440 6 pac that the guy just picked up Saturday morning and had only 75 miles on it Sunday and his first time trial was a 12.56 i went to work on it while everybody stood watching me do my magic . when done i told him to go stick his foot in it and NOT back out , his next pass was now a 11.04, yea he was happy . no new parts were added just tweaked things . Now here we are and it is 2023 and all the old good time gang is all gone but me Pat was the last , now all of our new friends are from after 1975 , yep that makes me the old goat . I deeply feel your pain hang in there and remember the good times .

If you have Wally World close go to the vitamin dept & look for a bottle of nature's bounty anxiety & stress relief tablets. Your local drugstore will have it also. Don't take a whole tablet right out of bottle. It is over the counter purchase and is considered safe and effective.

Impossibly hard to imagine. I've seen others go through it, some got in pretty bad shape and stopped caring for themselves properly. You're correct to be concerned about not sleeping. Keep an eye on your diet also. Don't mean to sound as if anything can replace what you lost, but I've seen a new pet (dog) work absolute miracles. Having something else to care for fills a need we're all built for.