Re: I think I've had it

Posted by Billy NY on June 09, 2009 at 08:30:48 from (74.67.3.238):

In Reply to: I think I've had it posted by Jason, NW Ontario on June 08, 2009 at 20:27:33:

I'm sure it's a bone of contention with your significant other and a sure way to start a dispute, however, realizing where you are currently at with this, those horses need to go, it's that simple! You have to understand that, put bluntly, send them down the road, find a home for them, but start the process, get rid of all, or reduce it to a manageable level. We had a guy south of here who got in over his head with 170 of them, it's always the same situation, large or small, cause is always the same.

I know all about what you describe, I grew up and lived it, was the cause of my parents divorce and my utter hatred of the animals for a very long time, everything revolved around horses, every little thing, and we're talking 30-40 of them, then and now more recently at our other place. They eat before you, they require all of your attention, they have to be ridden, exercised, blacksmith, vet, ............... you know the drill, as do I and at the end of the day, and some if not most days there is no end, something has to and will give. Though I thought they were as worthless animal as there was, because of this, which is not true by any means, it's just no picnic if you get in over your head.

Fortunately, none of ours have ever been mistreated, we always managed to take care of them properly regardless of the problems, which at times was very difficult, but still kept em fed right, exercised, groomed, anything less no matter what is just unacceptable when it comes to horses, no matter what problems you have. When I was in 8th grade, I was left with a barn full, both parents and these were their horses, (I was just the indentured labor servant at $28/week) were too busy battling it out with a divorce, I did what I could, but the results eventually were really quite sad with what happened to the place and my family. It was also a huge contributor to financial ruin, I'll say it again, GET RID OF THEM ASAP, for now, until you can put yourself in a better position to deal with them.

I can tell you that when things are bad, problems with owning horses, owning a stable, equine facility, equipment or just being a boarder, can grow exponentially, and run you into the ground quicker than you can find solutions. I dealt with this in '05, between drug addicted, alcoholic and thieving hired help, money being real tight, lack of needed equipment, an owner, (my father) who is an obstructionist when it comes to the place and making money, and my patience bordering insanity, I was about ready to pull my hair out and jump out of my own skin, trying to keep things together, 7 days a week, 24/hrs a day. Upwards of 30-40 of them at that time, well that changed to about 12-20, all due to this, 2/3rds is now paid for by the one owner who has them retired at our place and can afford whatever they want anyway, so the burden has been lifted, if were not that way, you just cannot imagine the headaches involved, it's a never ending nightmare when you are short on hay, can't find decent hay, bedding, then they all need the blacksmith, the vet, darned fences, and work needing to be done to the buildings, water pipes and the site, without money it's enough to drive a person completely mad. Then there is the help, the damned help, you can't play games with em, they can be a real pain in the a$$, we are fortunate to have that problem alleviated, but it's far from ideal, hired help is a headache of it's own. Boarders, riders and lesson takers can also be another problem, at the end of the day it's not much different then a dairy operation just breaking even, I've lived that, though it does not necessarily need to result like that, just seems to happen more often in my experience with horses, stables and or similar. There are ways to make money and achieve some reasonable success, our place was like that in the past, and I've seen other places do it, but many end up in this predicament. The economy is rough on this business, unless you are dealing with wealth, that is the case with the retired show horses, she can't part with them, but has the money to back it, hubby was #2 man in the upper management at G.E. just under the CEO, saw his profile in Forbes, makes you sick the money these executives get, they can truly afford horses and have no headaches, just throw money at it, it all goes away.

At our place, things could be done differently, we have one of the largest indoor arenas in the area, enough decent ground with 50 acres, we could supply all our own hay between both places, also a stones throw from Saratoga, NY but when the owner is an obstructionist and has lost his business sense, the place can really suffer immensely and those horses don't go away, it will drive a person nuts, been there many times already, do yourself a huge favor, sit down with her and resolve this amicably so you can reduce the burden, trust me, if you let it go on, the results will most likely be disastrous. Show her this post if you like, e-mail is open, a person just can't be that stubborn and not understand about this, she's just got to understand, it does not mean you can't never have them again, but 250 miles to get hay, that is insane even for 7 of them, 1-2 might be a lot easier, 0 will solve the problem. I don't know what it is about horses, but people just get crazy with them and lose touch with reality and practicality, not to mention dollars and sense. If she's that stubborn, and there's no compromise about it, you'll be better off settling the bill there too, I hate to even say it, but you won't regret it if she's that attached to em. I've seen this many many times with couples and local stables, horses and keeping a significant other happy is an equation for failure in many situations, hope you work it out by all means, best of luck to both of you !!!

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