OT: Humor you only find in NE!

As he sat sipping his drink, a young woman sat down next to him. She turned to the cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "Well, I've spent my whole life, breaking horses, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves, baling hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on my old tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy."

She said, "I'm a lesbee. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women."

The two sat sipping in silence.

A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, "Are you a real cowboy?"

He replied, "I always thought I was, but I just found out I'm a lesbee."

Pierre and Boudreaux was flying Cajun Airlines to da Mardi Gras.
Boudreaux was flying da plane, and Pierre was in da back foolin wit da cargo equipment an stuff.

Da plane hit some turbulence an started bouncin around an Boudreaux got knock unconscious. Den da plane start driftin. Pierre come run up to da front an Boudreaux was sprawl out all over da steerin wheel.

Well, Pierre don't know nuttin bout flyin an he start to get panaky. He grab da microphone and holla "May Day! May Day! Dis is Cajun Air Line 90210. Boudreaux, him knock unconscious an I don know nuttin about flyin dis plane!"

"Dis is da control tower," someone answer. "Don you worry about nuttin. We gonna splain how you to land dis plane, step by step, ah gar-own-tee!
Jus leave anyting ta us. Fus, how high you are, an whas you position?"

Pierre thought a minute, den say, "I'm five foot ten an I'm all da way
to da front of da plane." "No! No!" answer da tower. "What you
altitude, an where you location?" Pierre say, "Man, rat now ah got a
po attitude, an ah'm from Thibodeaux, Laweezeeanna!"

"No! No! No!" came an exasperated voice. "Ah needs to know how many feet you got off da groun an how you plane in relation to da airport!"

Pierre, he start to panic by dis time. He say, "Countin Boudreaux's
feets an mine togedder, we got fo feet off da groun an I don believe
dis plane related to you airport!"

A long pause ---- de silence was deafanin. "We needs to know who yo' next of kin..."