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A Christmas Story (grab your hanky)

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Kent in KC

12-04-2006 08:01:04




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It was the night before Christmas and Santa Claus was about to wrap up another year of delivering goodies to all the world's children when he flew over a farm in the Midwest. To his surprise, he could see a man dressed in rags huddled against the back of a barn, shivering in the cold. Santa's heart was struck by the man's pathetic apearance and so he reined in his team and settled gently to the ground beside the barn.
"Ho Ho Ho!" he said as he approached the poor fellow, latern held high. "I'm Santa Claus and I'm here to grant you a Christmas wish."
The man was incredulous and could barely speak through his numb lips. Santa knelt beside him to hear better.
"Perhaps you would like a warm home to live in, or some winter clothing?" Santa tried.
The man shook his head slowly. No.
"A hot meal and some butter cookies with a warm cup of cocoa?"
No again.
"A ticket on the first flight to Cancun?"
The man raised himself up on one elbow and rasped in Santa's ear. "How about a three point adapter to hitch a JD posthole digger on a '59 PowerMaster, a four bottom for a '53 Massey and an block heater for my 580K?"
Santa jumped back in horror. "A tractor nut!" he exclaimed. "No wonder you're dressed in tatters and yo mama makes you sleep out on the hillside. You brought home another old ironwheeler didn't you?"
"Onward Dancer!" he shouted as he jumped back in his sleigh. "Man don't even know you can't put a JD auger on a '59 Ford. There's a limit even to my power."
And so he exclaimed as he climbed out of sight. "What an idiot, and to all a good night!"

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reaganite

12-04-2006 18:27:44




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 Re: A Christmas Story (grab your hanky) in reply to Kent in KC, 12-04-2006 08:01:04  
yo yo yo not ho ho ho



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buckva

12-04-2006 08:25:47




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 Re: A Christmas Story (grab your hanky) in reply to Kent in KC, 12-04-2006 08:01:04  

Dats good--Real good



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jubilee johnny

12-04-2006 08:20:50




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 Re: A Christmas Story (grab your hanky) in reply to Kent in KC, 12-04-2006 08:01:04  
Don't let my wife see this one or I know where I'll be sleeping!



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Dave H (MI)

12-04-2006 08:13:19




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 Re: A Christmas Story (grab your hanky) in reply to Kent in KC, 12-04-2006 08:01:04  
Santa said "yo mama"???



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MSM

12-04-2006 08:35:40




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 Re: A Christmas Story (grab your hanky) in reply to Dave H (MI), 12-04-2006 08:13:19  
Must have been Kwanza Klaus.



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Mark

12-04-2006 17:01:41




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 Re: A Christmas Story (grab your hanky) in reply to MSM, 12-04-2006 08:35:40  
Had that been Kwanza Klaus he would have done his best rap lines and said:

Yo be a Farma
driven on a tracka
do you toke lef' hand tebakka?

Yo mama she say, chop dat hay
John Dea augga on a Foad trakka
I knows dey ain' no way!

Lissen real close what Kwanza say
Red's da bes' any day, go throw dat Green fa' away

Now git yo azz outa dis ba'n
back in de house whar it be wa'm
lookie unner dat tree, dey sumpthin there, it be frum me, go on now an you'll see

Kwanza Klause he do it fo' yo
wrapped in Red
wid three point hidge
it say 806 and dat bidge will roll

Now Kwanza Klause he gotta go
don' be doin' dat Green no mo'
or nex' yea' you goin' get a lump of coal

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