RedTom, So sorry, what a hard situation. Sounds to me like they need to be in a home - or hire someone full time to be there (but hard to find someone you can trust to do a good job). At least in a home, workers are overseen by nurses/supervisors.
*Try to find out if there are any volunteer organizations in your area that can help out some to give you relief.
If your dad is lucid, I would just talk to him and tell him that you just cannot handle it and that he and your mom need to go in a home or hire someone to do live-in care. While you and your siblings love your parents, you also deserve to have a life.
I hope that if/when the day comes when I can no longer care for myself... that I will be a strong enough person to refuse all medical care (except pain relief to keep me comfortable), in hope of making my passing go more quickly. I do not want to be a burden on my children.
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