As far as Thanksgiving, invite them over for lunch/dinner, and let them take home any leftovers. This will solve the problem of a meal or two, and not seem like your directly helping like you do when "taking" them food.
As far as Christmas, I feel sorry for the kids too, and maybe I'm being cold hearted here, but it's better for them to learn at an early age that life can be tough, than to become spoiled brats later. In other words, not getting a lot, or any toys because the family needs to work together to get through some tough times will be a good lesson. If their old enough to really worry about getting gifts, then they are old enough to get the lesson.
As for the situation as a whole, only they can help themselves out of it, in any meaningful way. If they are trying, then I see no harm in the occasional band aid. If they can't see what needs to be done, and make progress toward it, then it's not your problem.
Again, maybe I'm hard hearted, but I've tried too many times to help people, only to get screwed over in the end. I've come to the conclusion that I'll help people with THEIR problems, but the second it appears it's going to become MY problem, I'm done....
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Today's Featured Article - The Nuts and Bolts of Fasteners - Part 2 - by Curtis Von Fange. In our previous article we discussed capscrews, bolts, and nuts along with their relative hardness and thread sizes. In this segment we will finish up on our fasteners and then work with ways to keep them from loosening up in the field. Capscrews, bolts and nuts are not the only means of holding two parts together. When dealing with thinner metals like sheet tin, a long bolt and
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