I actually had some good luck dealing with the bureaucrats with a humorous letter. We bought a place in 1989 that had a 1,100 gallon buried fuel tank. State had opined that anything over 1,000 gallons had to be "certified", at considerable expense (dig around everything to make sure tank and fittings don't leak, etc.), or had to be removed by a certified removal guy, or "disabled" by filling with sand. I wrote back that it may have been a fuel tank in the past, but I had carefully checked it and found it to be empty. Therefore, the use had changed to a volume of air, encased in steel, with no environmental danger even if the air leaked out. I had no intention of filling it (and wouldn't have been able to anyhow, I figured, without an edict from Superior Court and special dispensation from the Queen), but if any itinerant fuel trucks came around seeking to sureptitiously fill it, I would defend the sanctity of my air tank, by threat of force and violence, if necessary. Bunch of other drivel, but you get the idea. Hand wrote it on notebook paper, for a little more populist appeal.
Got a phone call (at 6:30 in the evening, no less) from a young lady at the Department of Ecology about 3 weeks later. She said they had passed my letter around, as well as posting it on the bulletin board, and everyone sure enjoyed it. As far as my tank was concerned, she said they were simply taking me off of their list, and if I ever wanted to use it, I would have to go through the certification process. "Something tells me," she said, "that that's something we probably don't have to worry about." No kidding. That was almost 20 years ago, and have never heard another peep out of them.
I'll bet if I had "taken them on", I'd still be fighting with them.
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