Posted by dave2 on April 18, 2008 at 03:57:02 from (139.139.35.70):
1. If you're choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.
2. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
5. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you'll be afraid to cough.
7. You need only two tools in life - WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
Daily Thought:
SOME PEOPLE ARE LIKE SLINKIES -- NOT REALLY GOOD FOR ANYTHING, BUT THEY BRING A SMILE TO YOUR FACE WHEN PUSHED DOWN THE STAIRS
And last: If you can't fix it with a hammer, yo u've got an electrical problem.
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Today's Featured Article - Women and Tractors - More Views From the Farmer's Wife - by Teri Burkholder. The top ten reasons why the judges wouldn't let you participate in the stock antique tractor pull: Hey, this is stock! It came with that V8 in it! That "R" on my tires stands for "really old" not radial! Blue gas? We thought it was a pretty color! What wire hooked to my throttle?
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